Limiting the Limitless: Knowing Who I am

Tranquility roots to knowing yourself. Knowing what you want. Defining the chart you want to follow. It is tracking the important events to get in to the reality which would spice up determination along the way.

There was solemn stillness in the air. People were queuing for flowers and candles. Definitely, they were not for me then. They’ll be visiting their loved ones. Nonetheless, while, they were out there spending time on graveyards, mama was aching in pain too. That was when I was born—a bouncing baby boy who would be the cherry among the bushes. November 1 was not only a trick or treat affair since that time. This day marks the first moment I saw the first light too.

 Archelis Valencia Serano—that’s me. Born to be the joy of my mama, Elisa Valencia and papa, Arturo Serano, I share the equal love with my siblings—Veronica, Alfie, Alchiever, and Arthur. From my native abode in Gabas, Baybay City in Leyte, I began my journey with a simple but peculiar childhood along with my big circle of friends. Now that I am 17, I began to discover the real me. The real Archelis shaped by trials, safeguard by love, cushioned by my family and friends.

I consider my childhood as one of the bests. I was happy-go-lucky. I experienced same things like an every child must experience—playing out door with friends, get scolded by my parents among others. It was like every day was a surprise to behold. I do not know what awaits me. I do not know why it happened. I do not care for the things around me. What was important then was that I play, eat, and sleep. No desires, no caprices. It was just me and the realm of childhood that struck me most. Above all, my family loves me.

At an early age of six, I went to primary school at Gabas Central School. School then for me sucks. I hate the lessons, the teachers, and other school stuffs. I cried whenever my mom leaves me. Nonetheless, there’s one thing that I really loved and will always be—recess. Yet at this time, I found my passion for dancing too. Boasting aside, you can spot me onstage every time we have dance presentations.

Yet as I gained more friends, I discovered another side of me. I learned to mingle. Elementary became not-so-boring then. Until such time that I have to grow up for I was in high school already. My elementary then became my training ground to enjoy the limelight as I go up the academic ladder.

Whoa! High school was indeed fun. Arts got me this time as I found myself forced to screen for the Special Program in the Arts (SPA) curriculum of the Baybay National High School—my alma mater. I screened for Dance, Creative Writing, Visual Arts, and Music; and fortunately, I got the hook for Music and Dance. Yet I chose Music as I only have to pick one. High school at the SPA curriculum taught me discipline as I have to deal with a terror music instructor. He changed me a lot, or shall I say I was able to adapt to the rigors attached in it. When before I was coy and bashful, SPA struck me on my feet to get out of my old crane and show the world what I got. That was the start of my marriage with music on the center stage. I began to learn playing instruments like flute, organ, and guitar among others. Then on, I began to appreciate music at its best.

Though I spent my high school in a public school, it was still a best one. There were my friends to hang out. Much more, I got crushes (and admirers too). This time, I explored the feeling of having someone to be called a girlfriend.

My love for music went on as I joined the Baybay National High School SPA Chorale. Here I experienced firsthand butterflies in my belly while performing onstage with my fellow members. It was exhilarating along with the jeers and cheers of the crowd. Of course it was not my first onstage performance but the thought of it still shivers through my spine. It was fun indeed. This became my foundation to join the chorale this time in college here at Visayas State University. Though my academics require so much attention and the rigors get tougher, I still find enough time for this caprice—no it’s actually passion. As always, it feels like first time performing onstage with those butterflies in my belly and the cold air blowing off my spine.

As I became more aware of the things around me, I began questioning my future. What do I want? What shall I do? Shall I go to college? Many questions came and in every question, I do not know the answer.

The same love for art, with emphasis on music and dance, fueled me to major in Music, Arts, Physical Education, and Health (MAPEH). Many queried why I chose it but one thing comes into my mind, that is: “This is my passion and I am happy in it.” I want to learn more about the field I am into. I want to delve further into the realm I am passionate of; to share my talent. This may not skyrocket me to stardom but the mere fact that I enjoy it so much is already a consolation.

Now that I am in college and mature enough of minding the things around me, I am faced by so many questions of the real me. Why I am like this? Why does he hate me? Why is this like this? As I lay down on my bed, I ponder on many things that happened for the day. There are also times that I become confuse and want to give up. Thus I seek the company of my friends. I just while the time away with them so I would not think much of the problems along my way.

My perspective of love also changed a bit. Though I admit I have girlfriends, there are still times that I never want to be with them. I just want to be who I am without someone nagging me and telling me of what to do. Maybe I am afraid of commitment.

Bragging aside, I would say that I have this terpsichorean gift. I never expected that my passion for dancing since my childhood would find me again this time that I am almost at the center of my timeline. Dancing has been one of my pastimes. Along with my barkadas, I dance and join dance contests anywhere (whenever my time and schedule permit me to). Just lately, I learned that it was not only a means of enjoyment; it was a means of expression. Since there are things that are hard to explain through words, I use dancing to elaborate it and eventually freeing myself from all thoughts in the process.

There are also times that my wits for dancing and singing dries up. Whenever I don’t feel like doing them, I get my notebook or any piece of paper and my pencil. I scribble down anything, any idea that comes into my mind.

They say I am friendly. Yeah, maybe they are on their ground to say that as I am congenial to people around me. I am this type who would always wear a smile though the world around me is crushed and broken. Expressive? In other ways. I express my emotions in ways far from what an ordinary man on the street imagines. There are times that I am introvert and withdrawing but deep inside I anchor on an irrevocable confidence no one can shatter.

My best friend always tells me that I have it all—wide array of talents, good family, lots of friends. I just laugh at the idea. There are really things that people do not know no matter how close they are to you. I am not perfect, like everybody else. I have wants, I have guilt, I have caprices more that people around me imagines.

I am also a person filled with dreams and goals in life which I want to attain someday, or maybe later. However, it is better not to divulge it here as I want to keep it to myself and to my best friends only inasmuch as I want to surprise my love ones, or save my face, if otherwise.

A man could never be an island no matter how much he tries to. I too need a company to share my sentiments, grievances, joy, and sorrow with. Someone who would smiles with me, laughs with me, and cries with me. Like anybody else, no one is on the right ground to judge me as I am unique, gifted with talents, engulfed by confidence and nourished by pain and love of the true people surrounding me.

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